Whisky
by Evildevilangel
Summary: NOW COMPLETE! A Hogwarts-era Remus-Sirius ficklet. While Remus is away, Sirius muses and comes up with a plan. What happens when everything goes awry? Rated for language, implied sexuality, other bad stuff.
1. Drinking

Disclaimer: I am not the richest woman in Great Britain. I wish.

For my Moony. Love.

Flashbacks are in **bold**.

It's strange and unpredictable, the times he misses Remus. Sirius laid back and took another swig of the Muggle whisky, a self bought present from a summer visit to London. Not as tasteful as Firewhisky, but no one would steal it either. He let his dark hair fall moodily into his eyes, mourning that Remus wasn't there to give him a small smile and push it back.

_Dear Moony,_ he scrawled on the would-be Transfiguration essay, _you're a bloody awful wanker for leaving_. He hastily scratched out the line and began again. _Dear Moony, I was fine yesterday but now I am not. Come back. _Another scratch. _Moony, Get your arse back here. I am deathly ill. _Sirius smirked as he drew a line through that one. _Dear Moony_, _I miss you._ "Sound like a fucking girl," he muttered as he crumpled the sheet of parchment.

He couldn't write to Moony anyway, or at least _send_ the notes he wrote. For one thing, the werewolf was in China on a field trip for Ancient Runes and any owl he sent would probably kill him when it returned. Or its wings would fall off or something equally dreadful. For another, Peter was with Remus across the goddamn continent.

"**We should tell them," Moony had whispered one night as they cuddled once James and Peter were asleep.**

**Sirius snorted. "Why would we do that?"**

"**Because it's the right thing to do? They're our friends, Pads." The scarred boy had looked up at him, wide eyed and innocent.**

**The older boy pushed a lock of light hair behind the other boy's ear. "Once we're leaving Hogwarts, okay?" He kissed the middle of Moony's forehead. "Don't want too many people looking at you too closely."**

"**You sure?" Remus asked, eyes a mix of hope and regret. "It isn't killing you to tell James?"**

**Sirius laughed softly. "Nope. I think it'd be a tad strange for him. He'd probably run screaming into the girls' rooms."**

**The werewolf smiled. "So we shouldn't tell him for the sake of the birds you're no longer going after?"**

"**Yeah," smirked Sirius, falling into sleep.**

Anything Sirius sent, Peter would ask to read. And Moony would get flustered, blushing and muttering about how it wasn't important and yes Sirius was fine and no nothing had happened and finally just 

hand it over. And that would be the end of that. And then poor Moony would have to deal with Peter all on his own. Sirius growled. That was _not_ going to happen.

He picked up the whisky bottle again. Half left. Two more days. Four and a half bottles of whisky. No Moony. Sirius smirked. One more tonight, one in the morning to wash away the hangover, two more the next night. That way, when Remus finally returned, Sirius could do what he wanted immediately and tell the rest of the school that he was simply _very_ drunk the next day. Sirius raised the bottle to his plan. Of course, next time, he thought idly as he drank, he might want to tell Moony about the plan first.


	2. Aftermath

I never intended for this to be a chapterfic, but no many people were unhappy with the mystery in the last ending that I thought I'd better clear it all up. And, yes, there will be another part if enough people are interested.

* * *

_Shit shit shit, _Sirius thought slowly as he rummaged through James' trunk. _Shit shit shit. I need a new vocabulary_. "Sober up potion sober up potion," he whispered as his fingers ghosted over the invisibility cloak. It would make his life much easier, but James would kill him if he lost it. Or got killed on the stairs and then no one could find him, dead and cold in a corner. Which, even through his hazy thoughts, seemed vaguely likely.

The door creaked open slowly. "Sirius?" James asked uncertainly. "What are you… um… doing?"

"Ummm… 'M goin' throo te'runk," he murmured distractedly.

"Oh no," said James as he grabbed a fistful of the back of Sirius' robes and pulled his back. "Sit." He shook his head in despair. "You were not this drunk when I left you."

_Amazing stuff, whisky_, Sirius thought. _Also, I'm not this drunk. Only had three bottles. Just ask me what I wanted in your trunk_.

James shook his head again. "What on earth were you looking for _in my trunk?_ You realize I keep _my things_ in there. Which are not _for you_," he spoke very slowly, as if trying to explain to a very stupid child how broomsticks work.

Sirius tried to stop his grin. "Sssobeh up 'otion." _Come on Prongsie, have some_.

"Idiot," shot James as he went straight for Peter's trunk. "We gave it to _Peter_ after the Christmas party, you remember?"

Sirius shook his head, hair flying wildly. To be fair, he had spent the better part of the Christmas party trying to get Remus tipsy. But he was sure plenty of alcohol had been consumed by the other half of the Marauders.

"Of course. You got so pissed Moony had to take you upstairs before the fun had really started." He smiled softly as he handed the bottle to his friend. "Just a bit now, that's hard stuff to-" He grabbed the bottle as Sirius began to gulp "-steal. Oh well. Get dressed. They'll be back soon."

Sirius grimaced as the bitter taste went down, but now his thoughts were clear. _Need a new plan. Now_. "Be down soon as you can say 'Padfoot'."

James shook his head again, glad Moony was coming home soon so he could take over the job of being vaguely responsible. "Right."

Sirius ran to the bathroom and began to shower, mourning the death of his old plan. It had been brilliant, his old plan. _Moony and Peter would come home, enter the common room, exhausted but glad to see them. Sirius and James would be standing there, complete with bottles of Firewhisky to pry their tales of faraway lands, looking like they were the conquering heroes and not merely the welcome wagon. The entire common room, aware that Black had been drinking like a fish the last few days, would think nothing of it when he ran, embraced, and sloppily kissed one very appropriately embarrassed Remus J. Lupin. And then Remus would shrug apologetically at James as he mostly-carried Sirius upstairs to sober him up and put him to bed after a good long lecture. Poor Peter, understanding the duties of being Moony and therefore in charge of everyone's wellbeing, would tell James all the magnificent stories of their field trip – the food was bad, and that girl that got lost, and the really cool looking rocks and how Remus could probably explain what they were but it had still been wicked cool. And then James would catch him up on all the Hogwarts gossip and it would take a right long time, given all the trouble Sirius had managed to get himself into the last few days. And during that right long time, Sirius (who holds his alcohol very well thankyouverymuch) would have one very attractive Remus who had missed him very much all to himself in a room full of beds_…

A knock came on the bathroom door. "Padfoot!" James whispered loudly as he cracked open the door, eyes shut. "They're _almost here_. Get your arse downstairs _now_. "

_Stupid Peter and his stupid accident and the stupid Chinese and the stupid lack of medical care had no right to ruin a perfectly good plan_, ranted Sirius as he pulled on his robes and headed down the stone stairs. "Coming!" _Fuck. Need a new plan. Now_.


	3. Plans

This was not the way James had envisioned the conclusion of his week of adventures with Sirius. For one thing, there were no banners or fireworks or Firewhisky. For another, they had already seen a stretcher being flown to the hospital wing. And perhaps most importantly, in his fantasy, Sirius did not change colors every few minutes. At this point, James had counted at least three distinct shades of red, two of purple, a green-ish yellow, a yellow-green, and a truly frightening pale white. Any illusion that this was anything even vaguely like the finale they had planned was shattered when a ragged and rather forlorn looking group of Gryffindors trundled into the common area and Sirius launched himself at one very terrified Peter Pettigrew.

"What… did… you… DO?" Sirius grunted through clenched teeth as he slammed Peter against a wall, his hand at the chubby boy's throat.

Peter flapped his hands wildly and gestured to his throat. "Sirius…" James ventured slightly closer, eying the dozens of staring students.

"Everyone out NOW!" roared Sirius, pulling his wand from his pocket without removing his hand from Peter's neck. James had to admire the tone of authority that, despite being Head Boy, he could never quite manage. Within moments, the common room had cleared. "You have five seconds to start talking," threatened the black haired boy, gesturing with his wand.

"I… just asked where the boathouse was." Sirius loosened his hold on Peter's throat slightly as the boy began to talk. "But… I think I did it wrong. Because they got all angry-like and started to swat at me with sticks and stuff. And then some more people came out of huts with knives and stuff. Moony came over and tried to smooth them out all, Moony-like, but they just started yelling real loud. And I grabbed him and asked him to apparate but he didn't and-"

"You IDIOT!" yelled Sirius as he threw the frightened boy to the floor and kicked him in the stomach. "Moony… hates… apparating… Feels like… the bloody… change!" He punctuated each statement with a swift kick to Peter's torso as the boy tried to crawl away.

"Pads!" James grabbed his friend's arm, only to be thrown into an arm chair that went flying across the room. As he tried to recover his bearings, he noticed that the objects of the room were, in fact, shaking. "Sirius…"

"I didn't mean for anything to happen! I just! The boathouse! I couldn't stop them! I'm sorry!" The sandy haired boy fled to the nearest corner as the older boy advanced on him, the shaking in the room becoming more noticeable.

"Do I look like I care what you MEANT to do to Moony?" He grabbed a handful of the boy's hair and hauled him to his feet.

Peter's round face twisted into a snarl. "Well at least I didn't-"

"Excuse me!" The normally peppy female voice cut through the air like a knife. "Mr. Black!"

Sirius threw Peter against an end table and turned to face the woman. "Yes?"

Nurse Pomfrey tried her best not to look intimidated by the raging fire in the boy's eyes. "Please come with me."

Sirius nodded wordlessly and followed the round woman into the hallway. "If you're going to be upset with me for that you had better know that-"

"Hush," cut the nurse. "Mr. Lupin warned me not to be unnerved by whatever… situation I found you and Mr. Pettigrew in." She ventured a glance at the boy, who had mellowed considerably upon hearing his friend's name. He seemed rather pale, in fact. "Not that I would normally condone such behavior," she continued briskly, "but under the circumstances-"

"What circumstances?" asked Sirius, coming to a halt. He brushed the long black hair from his face and then knit his fingers in front of him. Nurse Pomfrey had never seen such a dramatic change in demeanor.

"Mr. Lupin-"

"Remus," Sirius corrected.

"Remus," she amended, "has been very badly hurt. I wish I could tell you more but he has refused to let me or anyone treat him until he sees you and-"

"HE WHAT?" Without waiting for an answer, Sirius took off at a full run towards the hospital wing. Nurse Pomfrey tried to keep up, but could only watch as the boy took off taking the stairs so fast his feet didn't seem to touch the ground. All things considered, there was a good possibility his feet _weren't_ actually touching the ground. Pomfrey knew the Black boy had more magic in his little toe than some of the teachers at Hogwarts, even if he hadn't realized it yet. Frankly, she was glad Peter Pettigrew was still breathing.

"Remus, what are you-" Sirius stopped dead as he stared at his boyfriend. The body in front of him looked like a preschooler's water color painting, purple and green and yellow and blue and red all sickeningly smeared together. Even Remus' hair was covered in dark mud and darker blood. Sirius sank to his knees in front of the hospital bed. "But you have special healing-" His eyes began to water, but he tried to blink them away, out, anywhere but where they would blur his vision of Remus.

"He looked worse before," said the nurse, putting a hand on Sirius' shoulder. "Which suggests he will be alright."

"No," the boy whispered, "it will take years before it is anything near alright." He reached out to take his lover's hand but pulled back, afraid to cause the boy more pain. "Baby."

The beaten boy's eyelids fluttered. "Hey."

"I'm here," whispered Sirius, afraid too much breath might hurt. "And Nurse Pomfrey's gonna start fixing you up now." He nodded to the woman beside him, who seemed to have been waiting for some signal to begin her magic. "I'm staying right here. I'm never leaving you alone again. Ever."

The corners of the werewolf's mouth twitched before he winced at the movement. "Is Peter?"

Sirius stiffened slightly. "The little scum's alive and well enough."

"Then let's go with your plan. I don't want to be alone again." Remus let his eyes close and held out his hand as the tension drained from the room.

Sirius grasped the fingers lightly, desperate to alleviate the pain he saw in Remus' eyes. "Yeah. That's the plan and nothing's gonna change it."


End file.
